In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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