can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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