i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
