11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
