They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
