He kissed a someone with a penis
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
