i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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