well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
