love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize