Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
well you can't waste a boner
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
