normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
