just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
