Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize