Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
