he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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