sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
