they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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