You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
