Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
