Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
