Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
