my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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