Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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