she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its not stalking. its research.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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