A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
