wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
