No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
