You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
