We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
