nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
