Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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