All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
