absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize