watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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