did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
