It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
