The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
