Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
