Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
