THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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