I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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