Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
