imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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