it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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