So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
