I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
