The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
