i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
