I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
