I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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