She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
