Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
