Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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