You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If that was your dad, he is hot
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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