Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
