i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
