now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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