I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
