The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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